Allow Chloe to translate

Humpty Dumpty = "Dumpy Dumpy"
Binoculars = "Knock-lars"
Mouth = "Mouff"
Hokey Pokey = "Pokey Pokey"
Pancakes = "Kay Cakes"
Sausage = "Shaw Shaw"

Uno! Dos! Tres!

Gettin' Cheeky

We're into taking off our pants and diaper and sitting on the potty. For the most part, nothing happens. Occasionally we will get a "2" and sometimes even a "1," but mostly an empty pot with lots of clapping.

Nipples

So Chloe discovered her nipples last week. I was changing her diaper and noticed she was pointing and looking at her left one. She looked at me and said, "This?", as to say, "What is this?" So I told her that was her nipple. She then said, "Pull nipple?" and started tugging on it. Then she noticed the other nipple and started in with, "Nip-pulls. Nip-pulls. Nip-pulls." Which then turned into "Two Nip-pulls?" Then it was "Mommy, two nip-pulls?" And when we were all clear that we each had two nipples, that was the end of it. I really hope so anyway.

St. George Island

We just returned from a mini-vacation to St. George Island, Florida, where we shacked up in a house on the beach with a coworker of Kevin's, his wife and their three kids. We had a fabulous time doing a whole lot of nothing. Chloe loved digging in the sand and running around with the other three kids. She had a bit of a crush on Ryan, the middle child. And she chased after the youngest girl, yelling "Soapy! Soapy!" (Her name is Sophie). It was so amazing to watch her interact so well with the other kids. They played hide-and-seek, ran around clapping and screaming, and built sandcastles (I should say they built them and she crushed them).

Design Blog

I have added a link to my Design blog (see right, then up). I've posted both older and newer work here. It's a little easier to view than my creative hotlist link. Everything is larger, for one, and all you have to do to see everything is scroll down.

I hope you tell all your friends and family (and everyone at the post office and grocery stores) to call me up for some work. The well is dry!

Many thanks.

Counting in the Tub

Son of a Bleep

So we found a long, narrow, brown stain in our kitchen and dining room ceiling yesterday. Ceiling stains are never good. Especially since the stains are directly beneath our 2nd floor master bath shower. 

A nice plumber man came out today and gave us the bad news (after cutting a large hole in our ceiling). We have a "bad pan", he said. He used other words like "pee trap" and "sub floor." 

After visiting the tile store and getting some estimates, we've come to the realization we're going to be down five or six thousand dollars by next week. You know, it's the old one-thing-leads-to-another syndrome. The leak leads to new this, new that, and before you know it, you're broke.

We could have used that money for a lot of other things. Chloe's college. A family vacation to Europe. Longhorn's season tickets. 5,000 thimbles or ashtrays from the dollar store. 

I've been reminding myself all day that it could always be a lot worse. We have our health and each other. We have food in our fridge. We have electricity and running water. And thank god, we have another bathroom while we ride this out.

Cat Litter

Cat litter is one of the grossest substances on the planet. Okay, maybe not when it's fresh out of the bag. But when it's been soaked with pee and poop and tracked all around your house, it's truly gross. And no matter how OCD you are with a vacuum, you will find it everywhere. 

I find it in my shoes. I find under the sofa cushions. I find it on the coffee table. I find it in the bath tub.

Chloe, on the other hand, thinks cat litter is FASCINATING. She loves to pick at it on the carpet (especially the brightly-colored, mint green pieces.) She picks the specks up and hands them to me, one at a time, as if they were the most coveted dirt particles on Earth. When she finds a piece of litter in between her toes, she will pick it out and study it very carefully, then neatly place it back in between her toes. 

How long do cats live?

Reflecting

Freak Farm

I'm a pretty good eaves-dropper. I don't think this is something to proud of – but it is what it is. 

I overheard a mom at our pool telling another mom about a nearby horse farm that she often takes her children to. I heard her raving about all the horses and animals at the farm, as well as their fully-stocked petting zoo. I also heard her give exact directions to the farm.

I decided I would go check it out this morning since Chloe and I had some time to kill. The road leading to the farm was littered with trailers, drifters, and broken down El Camino's. I started second guessing my eaves-dropping skills and began to wonder if the woman at the pool was actually giving directions to the set of Hostel. 

As we drove slowly down the winding, tree-shaded dirt road, I saw a woman in a pick-up truck driving towards us. She slowed and rolled down her window with a "who the hell are you" look on her face. I asked her if she knew about the farm and she told us she was the ranch manager. She seemed pretty normal, despite the missing teeth, and introduced herself as Anne. Once she knew we were all about the animals, she told us to proceed forward and then handed us about 30 dog biscuits. She said we could go have a look around and give the biscuits to any creatures who would willingly eat them.

The ranch apparently runs summer camps and children programs – but there is no sum of money that would convince me to leave Chloe there, even for a few minutes. And I should tell you, I am used to places like this having grown up in the sticks of Florida. 

The farm was complete with:

• A very large fire pit, filled with grungy old furniture. 

• A very old, very grumpy older gentleman (that's putting it very nicely) who said a total of two words to me – "Get 'em" – as he pointed to a small chicken running around their "office."

• A feral-looking girl, maybe 12 (I imagined a victim of kidnapping) who said word none.

• 20-30 horses, 4-5 sheep, a few goats, bunnies, roosters, chickens, geese, pheasants, ponies, chickens and parakeets.

The last part made the whole trip worthwhile. Chloe was enamored with all the animals. Somehow I managed to put my paranoia aside and enjoy some quality time with Chloe and a bit of true Florida.

Bad Parenting at its Finest

Chloe having fun with her infamous shark jammies on her head.