Holiday Videos

I've got to do some work

I took Chloe to the mall today to buy a puzzle that a friend recommended. I was trying to distract her when I picked it out so she wouldn't see I was buying it. So I pointed her over to a few small tables with PC's set up for kids, equipped with games, etc. A bit later, after I purchased the puzzle, I said, "Okay Chloe. It's time to go." She looked at me and said, "Nah. I'm going to stay here. I've got some work to do."

Going on a trip (of sorts.)

My friend Janet has two adorable children, Mya (6) and Gavin (2). She told me a hilarious story yesterday (one of many – she is a great storyteller). She told me she was getting dressed in front of Gavin, preparing to put on her bra, when he said, "Mommy. Why are you putting your boobies in that suitcase?"

BWAHHHH!!!!

Bombs Away

I just walked by the door to our master commode and heard sounds resembling missles and bombs exploding from within. I said, "WTF is going on in there?" Low and behold, Kevin was in there, playing video games on his iPhone. The sounds were at least appropriate, given the scenario.

He is going to kill me for posting this.

Let there be sleep

Chloe woke up at FIVE THIRTY this morning. And it was not a Quiet-Peaceful-Zen wake up. It was a Screaming-At-The-Top-of -Her-Lungs wake up. I am praying, which I rarely do (unless I think myself or someone else I love could be dying) that she sleeps until at least 7am tomorrow.

Let's have a moment of slience.

Everybody poops

Tonight's bath time conversation:

"Everyone poops Mommy. Mommy poops. Daddy poops. And sharks and turtles and Dora. And my watering can. And Gavin and Mya."

I'm totally spooked

I just had the following conversation with Chloe:

Mommy, I want to go home.
We are home, honey.
No I want to go to another home.
Aw, Chloe. What's the matter with this home?
I don't like it.
Well why is that honey?
There's ghosts in this home.

{Insert totally spooked out Mom-face here}

Oh Susanna!

She'll make a great Milli Vanilli or Ashley Simpson one day.

Posing for mom

Sass

New phrases

"WHAZZZZAT Mommy?"
"That's okay Mommy. We'll get you out of here."
"I WANT MORE T-VEEEEEE!"
"Red means Stop. Green means Go. Yellow means Slow Down."
"Don't worry Mommy."
"Nah, it's just Pee Pee."

Are you freakin' kidding me?

Chloe is currently napping, after an eventful morning of LOCKING ME OUT OF MY BEDROOM. This is now the second time she has done this. The first time I was actually dead-bolted outside. This time we were at least inside, thankfully. But you'd think I would have learned something after the first incident. NO. I systematically went into FREAK OUT mode. Running around trying to find any tool to cram in that little hole that would pop the lock open. Frantically calling Kevin at work with no avail (as if I thought he could will it open, 18 miles away.) I ended up having to get a screwdriver and unscrew the entire knob mechanism, leaving a neat round hole where our door knob used to be. All the while Chloe throwing herself onto the floor screaming bloody murder.

I need a long island iced tea and a joint.

Wedding

We have great news to report: Chloe successfully walked down the aisle as the flower girl at her cousin Kristin's wedding this past Saturday. She may not have Plié'd or tossed the rose petals, but she made it! Everything was beautiful (especially the bride) and we all had a great time.

Chloe was hilarious at their wedding reception. She danced like there was no tomorrow, dragging complete strangers by their coat tails and skirts out to the dance floor. When the music stopped for toasts, she yelled, "Another song! I want one more song! I want to dance!" And her grandma Sue said it was the funniest thing she has even seen in her entire life. And being married to my dad, that says a lot.

Here are a few pics (she was bribed down the aisle with m&m's and a lollipop, which you can see in the fist pic.)






**And Lil' Cuz: We are so, so sorry for the "I want my mommy" commentary (followed by screaming) during your vow exchange. I hope it wasn't as loud to you two as it was to me.

Correction

Is it okay to make a correction to your own blog? My aunt reminded me that my cousin's eyes are GREEN. Not BROWN. Sorry Lil Cuz. If it makes you feel any better (it does me) my eyes are also hazel and everyone says they are brown.

Headed to Atlanta

My dear 'Lil Cuz, Kristin, is getting married this weekend in the Atl. It seems like yesterday that she was just a little kid, smiling at me with those big brown eyes. Where does the time go?

We're headed up to Atlanta on Thursday for the big event. Chloe is going to be the flower girl, and we're all a little curious as to her level of cooperation and her behavior in this role. One thing you can count on: there will be lots of pictures.

Here she is, showing off her new hat and gloves. It's going to be a little on the chilly side up there, so we are going to be prepared this time (Last time we went up there, she had to wear socks as mittens.)

Happy Halloween

Chloe and Tucker were hilarious last night. Chloe said, "I go next house. Get more candy?" about 50 times. And, "That's our neighbor," another 50 times. Then Tucker topped off the evening, following Kevin into the house saying, "I go get some beer." (Tucker's mom was real happy about that one.)

A few good ones

I was messing around with my phone this morning, really frustrated with it, and I said, "This phone is a piece of junk." And for the next hour, Chloe was running around, laughing hysterically saying, "Mommy your phone is a PIECE OF JUNK!" She said, "Daddy gets home I tell him YOUR PHONE is a PIECE OF JUNK!" Followed by the repeating of, "I said PIECE OF JUNK!"

And one more good one. We went trick-or-treating at Daddy's office yesterday. Chloe had a blast, running around, gathering WAY too much candy for a 2-yr-old. She was wound up like a top. She went to bed an hour late last night, so I naively expected her to sleep an hour longer this morning. NOPE. She woke up at 6:45. When I went in her room to get her, she was sitting up, wide-eyed. She leaned in real close to my face and said, "We go Daddy's office and get candy one more time?! Can we, can we?!I get my costume on, OKAY?!"

"Smile, Chloe."

This is the face I was rewarded with when I asked Chloe to smile for a pic today.

My Halloween costume

I put on a pair of old red cords tonight, which are incredibly out of style. Chloe took one look at me and said, "That's your Halloween costume, Mommy?"

Warning. Sleep-deprived mom with raging PMS on the Loose.

Just a warning to everyone reading this: I am currently experiencing high levels of PMS. Consider yourself WARNED if you choose to engage me in a political conversation regarding Gay Rights or Roe v. Wade. It could get ugly.

And may God Have Mercy on the next person who tells me I resemble Sarah Palin.